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Turnstile
We sent our very independent and surly 18 year old off to college last August, and he returned this past May, thrilled to be home. We were taken aback by this deep appreciation for our small world...
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the canyon
There is so much time–a grand canyon of time–between the intimacy of mothering and the emptying of the nest. And the time in between is something altogether out of time. Only you don’t realize this...
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the measure of success
My early life was bent on success. Born as the eldest of a generation and upheld as the example of all things fine, I led cousins in values and chewing gum expeditions and living room performances,...
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Episiotomy (of love)
Last night I felt the “Lloyd void.” Lloyd is my first born, and after a month at home (following a season abroad), we deposited him back at the university. This. This is my first morning of my first...
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CHORES–Why they’re WORTH the FIGHT
I’ve written about the importance of chores before, including these posts: The Necessity of Chores HALF! Day How Full is Your Plate? an online workshop for moms But what I’ve failed to fully admit is...
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home again, gone again
the food lasts longer. so does the cleaning. routines are simpler. decisions too. but less than 48 hours later, our hearts ache in his absence. so we tell them: don’t be silly, he’ll be back soon. but...
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11 Things We Learned~in a week without the kids
One summer a few years back, I stumbled upon a brilliant act of self-love. I arranged for both of our boys to be away from home at the same time. Our oldest departed early Sunday morning on a road trip...
View ArticleSATURDAY NIGHT SOCIAL-JUSTICE BEDTIME THEATER
TIME: 11:00 pm (when teenager arrives home from work surprisingly tired) STARRING: Parental Units (who had caffeine much too late in the day) TARGET AUDIENCE: Teenagers who wake sleeping parents–night...
View ArticleDemeter
There’s a battle raging in my belly, but what is the fight really for? I expect few in the battle know. I once fought for a lover, offered to wear a string bikini & buy him a motorcycle. But was it...
View ArticleMy baby
I’m pretty sure we’re breaking up. It’s been a long time coming. The thing is we have a child between us. Himself. Which means just like divorced parents, we’ll always be connected. But we’ll need to...
View ArticleAutumn 1st
After the truck pulled away with my youngest, I decided to sit on the front porch and soak up the day’s ending, and so I brought out the wool blanket from the couch and wrapped myself in it, and...
View ArticleMy son. My son.
I feel a chill come over me each time a man and especially a woman dares to say: “Aren’t you worried about some girl ruining your son’s life?” After the chill, I feel grief. After the grief, anger....
View ArticleHalf-Life
After 6 weeks apart, a week-long school break has served as the turning point for this half-life we’ve been living since we deposited our youngest (and his most cherished belongings) into a dormitory...
View ArticleChildren as teachers
Turns out that we no longer have paints at home, yet another casualty of grown children. And so I’ve made my very first rally signs with marker and crayon. Seems like I’ve been to lots of rallies in...
View ArticleMother as Nourisher
They’re 18 and 23, and they don’t live with me anymore, but if we’re eating together, or worse yet if I’m simply watching them eat, I’m compelled to get involved. Aren’t you going to finish that? Do...
View ArticlePuzzles & Families, A-Z
A 1000 piece puzzle may be the most revealing of family activities, exposing individual traits that shape the function (& dysfunction) of the dynamic of shared lives… a. A few years back I bought...
View ArticleHome from School
The children, once grown, move in and out of the home like water. Trickles, flash floods, sun showers, but rarely if ever the familiar steady flow, though evidence of it is everywhere, like seahorses...
View ArticleCutting Teeth
I suppose every mother has her sweet spot. There are those who get pregnant in an instant, and those who feel better than ever when expecting, and those who deliver with ease. There are those for whom...
View ArticleYOUR Plate is TOO Full!
Gender oppression begins in the home. Come eradicate it with me with this whole-family approach to conscious collaboration & change. The “How Full is YOUR Plate?” project was created back when my...
View ArticleParenting bites…
With the nest almost empty now, my parenting insights come in shorter bits which I suppose is just about right as I turn more & more toward other things… And yet, I’m learning that this role is the...
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